A Modern Monk's Guide To Happiness

Utterly at ease on a sofa tucked in a corner in The Electric in Notting Hill - despite the dramatic burnt orange robes - it’s clear that Gelong Thubten is a thoroughly modern monk. Thubten grew up in Cambridge, his mother is actor Indira Joshi (currently playing Mariam Ahmed in Eastenders) and like his mum, he pursued a career in acting after he finished his degree in English at Oxford. It was during a trip to New York that he had a mental collapse, suffering from severe anxiety, emotional turmoil and stress. Bedridden for two months it was at this point in his life he realised he had to change. In a bid to improve his health, he accompanied a friend to a Tibetan Monastery in Scotland and after four days, decided to become a Buddhist monk. 

Since then Thubten’s life has been utterly different. Driven by the success of his own rehabilitation his mission has been to help as many people as possible to find happiness. And rather than ignoring the perils of our fast-paced info-drenched lifestyles, in his recent book - A Monk’s Guide To Happiness: Meditation In The 21st Century - he chattily explains exactly how to navigate the modern perils of endless social media, disastrous dating and WhatsApp group fallouts. For anyone who has ever tried meditation but has given up or believes in the power of mindfulness but hasn’t quite got around to trying it yet, this is a must-read. 

Here he tells us some of his words of wisdom...

The most unhappy people I've met are in LA and some of the happiest people I've met live in mud-hut villages in Zimbabwe. If you're seeking happiness, you're always going to be seeking happiness, and you'll never find it. I have seen people living incredibly challenged lives who have managed to rise above their circumstances. They are living proof that whatever’s happening externally in your life, your reactions are something you can change and that you are in control of. It’s about understanding your own mind and learning to transform that. You have to understand that only you have the power to control your negative thinking.

Nowadays our quest for happiness is too often about a quick hit. We’re caught up in the kind of consumerism that’s designed to make us want more. When I first emerged from our four-year retreat in 2009, the smartphone revolution had just happened. Suddenly people were over-controlled by incentive targeted information based online internet searches. I could see how enslaved people had quickly become. The thing with all this information is that it makes us exhausted and anxious because we can't get away from it. My mission is to make people realise that a quick fix won’t work and as more and more people become aware of things like mindfulness I can see that true happiness is possible for everyone.

I do think it's possible to use social media and to be deeply involved in the modern world. I believe that social media can be used to share positive messages. That's what #TOGETHERBAND is doing. But there are simple things we can do, such as having some time off and having the occasional digital detox. Turn off notifications. Do things that limit the sense of invasion. My main approach is to meditate every morning.

 I'm not saying that everyone has time to sit around meditating. Everyone can find time for microscopic meditation. Literally standing on the tube and feeling the ground under your feet. Standing and waiting to cross the road and being aware of your body. Sitting at your desk and being aware of the sensation of sitting, feeling the chair under your body for small moments many times a day. Just doing little things with awareness throughout the day keeps you plugged into that calm.